Naan & Curry, Renton

Sure, sure everyone loves Cedar's, but if you are a true snob and tired of the despotic host or the overcrowded bustle or of going somewhere hipster, head to Renton.

Every time we drive to Renton (our old stomping grounds) to snatch up the latest deals from Fry's, the mister and I must stop at our favorite Indian food restaurant, Naan-N-Curry. We have been to several Indian food restaurants in the Seattle area, but I swear this place puts crack into their curry because holy Brahma, we love the food here!

Though Naan-N-Curry is a chain restaurant (locations in San Francisco and other CA cities), the ambiance is so very comfortable and warm, but not so much due to the setting as to the people. It is owned and operated by a charming and friendly father/son duo. We let the father choose our entree for us the first time we went there and because of this, he always recognizes us. In fact, last year when it wasn't too busy, he gave us a fascinating tandoori demonstration.

It is always very hard to do so, but I suggest sharing. Order one item for two people (with plenty of Naan and basmati rice of course) or two for four. This will also help out with the bill, because this place can add up. It's usually a $50 date for two people if you both drink and have your own entree. We have tried almost everything on the menu, and still are constantly surprised and delighted at what we order. And please, American, please, branch out from ordering Chicken Tikka Masala (aka "butter chicken") and try the Haleem or the Handi or the my favorite, the Gobi or Bhindi Gosht.

Bottom Line
Best Indian Food the gods ever tasted.

the secret snob

The Chapel Bar: Capitol Hill

The Chapel Bar had been on my "to go to" list for quite some time, and finally the mister and I were able to wander in on a sleepy Monday happy hour. Perhaps Monday is a poor representation of an establishment or perhaps the specific bartender on duty was an aberration, but I am truly sorry to say that the only reason one should duck into Capitol Hill's The Chapel Bar is simply to sneak a peek at the fabulously designed dining room. Yes, it's a converted funeral home, but aside from this curiosity, this place is seriously dead.

At $5 a martini, the prices for happy hour were awesome. But be prepared to imbibe a concoction that tastes nothing like a martini. Our mentally vacant but sweet bartender mixed the worst cocktails I have tasted on the Hill to date. The mister was reduced to beer at place touting their horn all around town,"Martini Bar." He asked her what her favorite drink there was and she said something about pineapple, coconut, cherries, and rum. We both adjusted our expectations from there. A necessary and wise choice, me thinks.

My lavender martini tasted like simple syrup, and sweet thing that she was, my bartender messed up on one so I got another sugary infusion set in front of me (you may be scoffing at the audacity of complaining about a free drink, but the only person who would enjoy this drink is a 15 year old vodka virgin). I drank it politely and then ordered a house vodka martini. Because their well vodka was some sort of unpronounceable grotesqueness, I ordered the next best up from well, Absolute. To this, Blondie said, "I love that you know that Absolute is not top shelf." Who the hell is this lady used to serving?!!!

And speaking of the crowd...
Well, it was Monday night...so there was none. Literally. We were the ONLY two people in the bar, save two other couples on their outdoor patio (a converted alley at best). This, dear friends, in a region where one can walk to any number of drunkeries, is NOT A GOOD SIGN. I could put up with a flakey, vapid barkeep if only the drinks were actually drinkable.

Skip this trendy hipster hot-spot if you actually like the taste of booze.

Bottom Line
No snob would be caught dead here.

the secret snob

Zig Zag Cafe, Seattle

I don't know what I love about Zig Zag more...that it's impossible to find or that the cocktails and service are superb or that it is almost never crowded (even when I've gone on a Saturday evening at 8pm). I may regret telling you about it because it feels like the best kept secret in Seattle, which of course scores it major snobbery points.

Pleasantly pink in ambiance, this watering hole eases you into her jazz-playing bosom. There are these gorgeous, plush half-mooned booths that nestle you in while you read the extensive drink menu which is guaranteed to give you an education on liquors and digestives. Though I am typically a dry martini or makar's manhattan kind of girl, I throw myself willingly into the hands of Erik Hakkinen and Murray Stenson (certainly a Seattle legend) and emerge well-pleased indeed. May I suggest the Armistice and The Turf Cocktail.

For a snob such as myself, there is nothing more embarrassing than bringing a big group into a classy bar, but Zig Zag accommodated our varying tastes and separate checks with grace and ease. Our server even happily and knowledgeably answered my indecisive little sister's questions and suggested drinks according to her taste. To top off our drinks, I had a caesar salad (very good and garlicky) and a lamb burger (light and savory).

Bottom Line
Throw on some class and adventure and saunter down to this swingin' joint

~the secret snob

p.s. Did I mention the outdoor patio?